Hey! I’m Rachel…and I wasn’t always this happy and fulfilled. I wasn’t always this free.
HOW IT STARTED : MY STORY
It’s hard to tell how much of my conditioning was due to nature, and how much of it was based off of nurture. What I do know is that from an early age, I had heightened self-awareness. I was extremely critical of myself. So, perhaps I was just born with a lower amount of self esteem than most, right off the bat. Despite growing up in an upper middle class family, where we were loved and supported unconditionally, it doesn’t make you invincible to the challenges of life. As I grew up I experienced physical, emotional, and sexual abuse, from various people in my life.
Take the turmoil and pain I was feeling mixed with my already low self esteem and an anxious brain, and you have the perfect recipe for a mental breakdown…
Which is exactly where I found myself at 19 years old. Addiction is a big part of my family’s history. I swore I would never drink when my mom went to rehab when I was 11. When another close family member went to treatment as a teen, when I was 12, I swore I’d never do drugs.
And here I am home alone, drunk and high, wanting to be more high...or simply not exist. I went into my brothers room and opened up his box of “goodies” like I always did. I was at a point where I was going to have to stop altogether or use something stronger. I’ve contemplated this a lot of times, but this time was different. To my surprise there wasn’t as much of a selection like there used to be. “Where’s the coke? or the molly? that’s what I realllllly want!” I thought. I desperately reached into the box and held a little plastic bag that had a few tabs of acid…
I stared at it for a good 5 minutes.
Should I? Shouldn’t I?
I put it down. I couldn’t.
I saw my life flash forward to me being a mother. I saw myself unintentionally hurting my children the same way my mother did to me when she got sober. I didn’t want that. With my grandmother who I had a special relationship with dying, an extremely toxic relationship that I was abusing myself with, and staying up till 3 AM crying my eyes out, desperately wanting to know the meaning to life and if I’ll ever be free from all this pain…while I drink warm vodka alone, that lived in my closet, I knew it had to stop. It was now or never. That’s when everything changed.
With my mom being healthy, happy, and sober I told her I needed help. I remember the words I said,
“Mom…I know I have greatness within me. I want to be great…I just don’t know how to be great.”
Within a week, I was off to a residential treatment center. This was the start of my journey.
For the first time in my life I knew what true happiness felt like. I was finally starting to see and own my worth. I was cultivating meaningful relationships, and I was learning who I really was and why I was here.
The healing journey to self, is a process and I didn’t come home and suddenly become a coach. I jumped from program to program, still trying to “find” myself. I still put myself in toxic relationships, and experienced date rape, while navigating early sobriety. I had brushed this incident off, as it wasn’t the first time I’d been there. It wasn’t until years later that I was able to fully work through this incident. I still wasn’t fully owning my worth.
Nutrition and exercise played a great roll in my healing. Suddenly I wasn’t depressed any more. I was happy, energetic and confident. As I navigated the waters of #adulting,
I decided to become a health coach but there was one problem…I didn’t have a damn clue how to start a business, nor did I have the confidence to really put myself out there.
Instead of taking action, I accepted the status quo and went to school for interior design, while scrolling on IG wondering how were all these young people living their dream life?
I want to get paid to be happy and work from a beach too! hellllooooooo?! WHY NOT ME?!
…Why not me?
Well because I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, popular enough, wealthy enough...I’m just not ENOUGH in all the ways.
So I stayed small. I stayed small for another 4 years while I completed my interior design program as an honor roll student…until the universe was tired of me playing small. I found myself at a Tony Robbins event by pure chance. I had won a ticket, and this was my second divine intervention. As I watched Tony creating these powerful breakthroughs for people in the audience I would cry tears of joy and gratitude.
I know the pain that they’re feeling, but I also know the beauty and freedom, the sense of victory that lies on the other side of that darkness.
It was in that moment that I had a hugeee revelation…”HOLY SHIT, I’VE BEEN DOING IT WRONG THIS WHOLE TIME..I’m not meant to be an interior designer. I’m meant to be coaching people, helping them create their own sense of freedom in their life!” I knew I couldn’t play small anymore. It was my time to shine big and bright, and that meant taking MASSIVE action. I jumped in, hiring a coach for $$,$$$ when I had no job, no clients, and $2000 in my bank account. It was highly illogical, but in my heart it felt so right. I moved forward with pure faith that I’d be supported as I knew this was my purpose. I attended multiple immersion events and retreats such as Tony Robbins and Gabby Bernstein, and within 6 months, I had hit my first $10K month!
As my business grew, I continued to invest and immerse myself. The growing never stops…and neither does the healing. What I’ve noticed, is that the very tools and practices you need to step fully into your power, are the exact same tools and principles you need to be the CEO of a thriving business. Through my journey I’ve acquired a variety of tools, knowledge, certifications and experience to guide you to creating your very own freedom-based lifestyle.
It is my passion and purpose to guide you into finding the same sense of happiness, love, confidence, and freedom that I have today.
With so much love & gratitude,